ok so heres the explanation…
So, now that Ive gone healthy grocery shopping, taken a nap, and had something to eat, I can update you on why Ive gained a million pounds back, and Im in the shittiest mood known to woman kind.
Ok, so Cody [the boyfriend] went away February 1st really early in the morning for training to go to iraq. While he was gone I stayed with his mom and his sister at their house in colorado. I asked his mom before I went down if she would take me to the gym like I wanted and if I could eat the way I wanted. She agreed. I didnt get to the gym as much as she promised, but I still went a lot. And I did not have one cheat thing at all for TWO WHOLE WEEKS. I mean, I went HARDCORE!!! I was soooooooo untempted! Ok, so two weeks of greatness, I lose 7lbs the healthy way. Awesome!
Fast forward now to Friday the 13th. Late that night, Cody came to his moms house. And thats where the food cheating began. Since he was going to iraq, he wanted things he wouldnt be able to have over there. And not to mention our Vday dinner at maggianos. OMGGG delicious. So all together Friday through today, Ive consumed enough food for 4 people to eat and be full each day. Yah. Gross.
Ok, so Valentines day. We went to dinner at my fave restaurant. We talked, had an amazing night, and Cody asked me to marry him. YAY!!! I said yes, of course. And we got a hotel room, etc…
So yesterday, I was crying and upset cuz Cody had to leave today and we were talking. He asked me if I was upset about certain things. And he told me things without me even asking. One of those things being that he only wanted to talk to me and his family while he was gone.
SOOO todaaaayyy… Ughh, such a long story… We dropped him off, said goodbye, all that good stuff. And I come home and check my myspace. Then I changed my status to engaged… I look at Codys page from my myspace…his still says in a relationship. So I then decide to go on his myspace and change his status for him. Obviously I was excited. Then I see… all the effing messages from Lexi. The EX. Great.
Hes all telling her how he wants to talk to her all the time while hes there and call her, and hang out when he gets home. All the while he is calling her cutie, and telling her how good she looks. Not such a big deal right?? Except This past June, we went to hawaii together, and he was texting FIVE other girls and saying all kinds of shit about me and us and whatnot. Saying how his family paid for my ticket, thats the only reason I was there. How we would never get married. And how he didnt wanna be with me. But everything was opposite what he said to me!!!
So ever since then, he promised he would chill with that and not talk to these girls. I mean, he said some MESSED up shit and really broke my trust. When he was telling me how amazing I was and how he loved me sooo much, he was telling Stephanie he wanted to get rid of me because “we fight all the time and he cant stand being around me anymore” nice right? I honestly dont care whos hes friends with, and if theyre ALLLLL female. But dont be talking all kinds of shit about me, deny it to my face, and have me catch you in a LIE!!!
And now hes doing it again!!! And right after telling me how hes so excited and cant wait to come home and start a family with me!!! I mean seriously… I feel so played!!!
Please… someone help me justify myself. Cuz I feel like a crazy girlfriend…
The only good thing he did before he left was give me enough money for all the healthy food Ill need, and got me a gym membership while hes gone. I swear to god. Watch me make my goal weight now. I fucking will! 6 months is plenty of time to do it the healthy way and god dammit… Im not ugly. Im just gonna use all his shit, my membership he got me, the healthy food, and rub it in his face. When he comes home, ill say thanks for the new bod… move back to cali. And start the fuck over.
Ps sorry for the vulgarity. I was upset… still am… But thanks for listening guys and gals. You all help me more than you know =]
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Can I ask you one question? Did he give you access to his page? His sign on and what not?
Depending on your answer - I will be brutally honest with you - as a 31 year old woman.
Well I’ll answer anywayz.
If he gave you permission - only if he gave you permission to his myspace personal account then I say, you have some trust issues. Obviously, he trusted you enough to give you his personal inforamtion and has nothing to hide.
Now if he gave you no permission, then - you know what they say about curiosity…..right???? Curiosity killed the cat!!
From what I see you guys both have insecurity issues and not a strong enough foundation for a marriage. If you are having issues like this before you even have the ring on your finger…keepit that way. Marriage isn’t easy but without trust - you won’t get far.
Pshhh dont I know it… I already took the ring off. I wanna talk to him about it!!! But hes gone for 6 months! So… I wouldnt even know how to begin that one.
I dont want him to be upset in iraq and do something stupid. But at the same time, I wanna know!!!!!
I knew I had trust issues… He really hurt me. And yes. I did have access. He gave me all his passwords. And i have his phone right now. So why the crap is he doing this?! Im just waiting now for the texts to begin. ughh…
I hate the internet seriously. Its a life ruiner. I just hate the feeling of being stuck. I feel like I have no where else to go right now, and its not like hes here to stay in his house. So whatever to that. I just dont wanna stress about stupid shit anymore.
But thanks for your honesty. Ive thought way too many times we werent gonna make it. I asked his sister about this last time it happened, and she said hes always been like this. Like he needs a back up plan just in case. Whatever. I shouldve been the only back up plan he needed. But… I guess in 6 months well see where I am then huh? Wish me luck??? =/
wow Tabb…I have SOOO much to say about this. I had a very similar experience at age 22 myself. I”m not going to pretend I know exactly what you are going through or act like I know what’s best, but I will tell you my story and how it turned out and maybe it will help you a little. I’ll send you an email ok?? Hang in there!
Insecurity issues? If my boyfriend was telling some other woman how good she looks, and calling her cutie, I would call that highly inappropriate on his part, not an insecurity issue on mine. It’s out of line. “Not a big deal”: I don’t agree at all. If it’s not something he would say or do right in front of you, it’s not something he should say or do just because you’re not there.
Trust, loyalty, commitment and maturity are very important in a relationship. I don’t think the “boys will be boys” or “that’s how men are” attitude does either men or women favors in relationships. Flirting with another woman, especially someone with whom he has a history, is something I couldn’t and wouldn’t stand for.
I wouldn’t wait 6 months to see where I am, but that is how I would handle it. Good luck to you.
I agree with MJ. You poor thing. You have been rung through the ringer with this guy!
I have a good friend who is an Army wife and one of my husbands best friends was in the Army from ages 18-26 and they both said that guys will propose before they go over out of fear AND (I hate to say this) also be talking to other women. I know not ALL men are like that, my friend is still hapily married and all BUT I know it is the culture of the armed forces (for the younger men at least). I agree that it would crush him to find out it’s over now but I also agree you shouldn’t have to wait around for him.
I personally would not put up with him hitting on any other female, regardless of how I found out. When you are married (at least for me) there is not much privacy. My husband knows everything about me good and bad, hell we SHARE a myspace account.
He had to know he was going to get caught, I am just sorry it happened now.
I really do wish you luck. You are a beautiful lady and deserve to be treasured! I believe every female deserves that.
Ladies!!! Thank you sooooo much!!! Those two last comments really helped.
I know what youre saying about asking me to marry out of fear, but even his mother assured me thats not the truth. And we used to talk about it BEFORE he even knew he was on any kind of list to leave… But, I wondered that myself too.
Itll be a year and a half together next month, and 4 years of friendship. But damn!!! Im friggen tired of his bs. Its like… he wont change. I never expected him to change for me. But I didnt know he was doing all this shit. I mean, come on now. I moved my ass 2000 miles to be with him. Hes an ass.
It would be really hard on him, but I cant be over here pretending everythings ok. Thats too easy for him. It sucks. I hate having feelings for people who treat me like shit.
I didnt think I was insecure. I thought I had trust issues. Which, obviously I do. And for good reason! I wonder if he really cares that hes gonna lose me. Doesnt he get that proposing doesnt make up for him flirting with all these other girls? It doesnt make it ok! Its not ok! And Im not the type of girl to put up with this shit!
You ladies are amazing. You are all helping more than you know! Im just so happy to feel like I have someone. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
You seem like you are a smart and bright young lady. You know what to do and seem pretty confident you already know what that is. Keep your head up sweetie! I know it must be SUPER frustrating to not be able to talk to him about all of this right now!
Wow this is a crazy rough one. There are a lot of issues to deal with. Things don’t seem right. If you want to have a great marriage, all these issues need sorted out. Like the brutally honest truth. It will be hard, but it needs to be adressed.I hope it all works out. You seem so sweet and reach your goal girlfriend. you can totally do it!!!
wow tricky situation.. i think you need to get rid of this one, get a fab bod, move back to cali and show him what he’s missing. What he’s done is inexcusable.. however i don’t think that you should have it out with him while he’s in Iraq, but while he’s in Iraq i agree you should use the gym membership he paid for to get yourself a great body and when he gets back then you confront him.. he’ll soon realise he made a big mistake when he see’s you looking great! You deserve better x